Her first name is Camryn. You read it right: C.A.M.R.Y.N. Today, she will still hold the first name shared by a few, but her last name will change. 

I write with tears in my eyes and joy in my heart to honor the child Camryn once was, the woman she now is, and the bride she will be. On the wedding day of my firstborn grandchild, I share some details about Camryn, offer three points on marriage, and close with a personal letter.

Camryn’s personality shines bigger than life and brighter than her beautiful blue eyes. 

Camryn’s personality has shone bigger than life and brighter than her beautiful blue eyes since she entered the world three weeks early. She quickly became her Papa’s “Doodlebug.”

From a young age, Camryn enjoys theatre, music, and learning new things. Camryn was an early reader and a gifted student. She strives for excellence; over the years, Camryn has made me proud with each accomplishment. She still does. 

Camryn has a hunger for God’s Word and a love for his people. She is a member of Theta Alpha Kappa, the National Honor Society for Religious Studies/Theology. Camryn has a heart for service and has served in children’s, youth, and music ministries.

Camryn is a talented musician, both vocal and instrumental. She is a skilled writer and is the Opinions Editor for OBU’s The Signal. She enjoys being a member of Gamma Phi and has the honor of being a sister of Kappa Chi.

Camryn is a junior at Ouachita Baptist University. Her major is Speech Language Pathology. She tells me that she will graduate in the spring of 2025 with related study in Biology and a minor in Christian Studies.

Camryn has found her forever love, Joseph. 

Camryn has found her forever love, Joseph. But as the story goes, it was more like he found her. And today, the two shall become one. The Bible says from the moment two people are married; they are unified in a mysterious way that belongs to no other human relationship. 

Have you not read that he who created them from the beginning made them male and female, and said, ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate. – Matt 19:4-6

Reflecting on 45 years of marriage and my counselor training, I give you words on this wedding day. Wise couples make communication, healthy conflict resolution, and learning to work side-by-side essential aspects of marriage.

Communication

Every Christian is marked by the Fruit of the Spirit (Gal 5). Pursuing these traits is a sign of true conversion for every believer and necessary for marriage to flourish: love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.

Wise couples intentionally listen well. 

Listening well is communication. Listening well displays the Fruit of the Spirit. Listening is simple, but it can be challenging within the day-to-day responsibilities of marriage. Listening well includes leaning in and asking questions. Wise couples intentionally listen well and pay attention to their method of communication.

To develop an intimate marriage relationship, speak less and listen more. The person who speaks less is more willing to set his self-centeredness aside and build oneness in marriage. He is better able to understand another viewpoint. And he is willing to seek the best for his mate.

Dennis Rainey

To break down what Rainey is saying:

• Speak less and listen more.
• Set self-centeredness aside.
• Build oneness.
• Understand another viewpoint.
• Seek the best for your mate.

Healthy Conflict Resolution

Conflict will happen because marriage involves two sinners living under the same roof. We are only silent in conflict, not because we love our spouse but because we love ourselves and we do not want to put ourselves through something uncomfortable. Wise couples will resist surrendering to the idol of self.

Wise couples will resist surrendering to the idol of self.

Conflict in marriage should prompt healthy conflict resolution. Remember your commitment to each other and the Lord in the heat of conflict. Christians honor God as they strive daily for a Christ-centered home. Don’t give up.

Then the man said, “This at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.

Therefore, a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. – Gen 2:23-24

Learning to Work Side by Side for the Gospel’s Sake

Marriages fall apart not because marriage is complex but because we are selfish and self-centered. Conflict and laziness are the two times our selfishness tempts us to perceive marriage as less than a covenant. Wise couples will work side by side, enjoying a good reward and finding help in times of need.

Wise couples work side by side.

Two are better than one because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up! – Eccles 4:9-10

Unique to Christian marriage is we leverage our relationship for the gospel’s sake. Christian marriages are to work out of the overflow of the love we have received. 

Christian marriages are to work out of the overflow of the love we have received. 

We love because he first loved us. – 1 John 4:19

Let your roots grow down into him, and let your lives be built on him. Then your faith will grow strong in the truth you were taught, and you will overflow with thankfulness. – Col 2:7

Marriages function best when we preach the gospel to ourselves daily.

The more we rely on what Christ did for us and treasure the gospel, the more we treat others as God has loved us. Marriages function best when we preach the gospel to ourselves daily. Remember His promises. Recall God’s faithfulness. Follow His commands.

There is a vast difference between intelligence and wisdom: “by a good life, by deeds done in the humility that comes from wisdom” (Ja 3:13). Be a wise couple.

Be a wise couple.

Camryn,

I love you; I know your heart. On today, your wedding day, you will be a beautiful bride. This afternoon, I will find myself seated near the front of the church, next to a box of Kleenex. Knowing in advance what you’ve planned, it’s sure to be an exquisite, God-honoring ceremony. 

I’ve prayed for you. I’ve prayed that your matrimony will be a powerful witness to God’s perfect design. Embrace your day and then the romance of your honeymoon. Enjoy it like nothing else you’ve experienced. Bask in these moments. 

In addition to writing on the value of communication, healthy conflict resolution, and learning to work side by side for the gospel’s sake, I recall when I was newlywed. I hope you will take my advice to heart and consider it often.

Pray

First, pray alone and pray together. Pray often about what you want out of marriage within what God wants and wills. Have specific, hope-filled dreams for what God might do. Meet God together regularly in his Word. Meet with His church. Worship.

God uses means, and among those are the Word preached and the prayers of his people. Our marriage would have failed if we had not been faithful to God and his Word, routinely meeting with His church. God, his Word, and his people sustain me in the most challenging times.

Share Laughter

Share laughter with your husband. Remember to find humor in the simple things of daily living.

Your Papa was once quite a prankster; he poured cold water on my hot shower more than once. We’ve shared some good laughs, and I hope the two of you will also.

Pursue Your Husband

Never stop pursuing your mate, striving to know and serve him faithfully. Know his likes and dislikes. 

During our first month of marriage, I made a poor assumption and cooked one of my mother-in-law’s recipes weekly. It was quick and easy. Russell finally told me his mom had cooked the casserole for his dad. He never liked it! I’ve not cooked the recipe since.

Have Fun

Have fun with Joseph. Take a hike or have a picnic by Lake DeGray. Be open to trying new things and going on adventures together. 

I remember the weekends camping with family beside the Little Red River. The river’s cool water makes the summer air perfect for tent sleeping. The guys would fish. Mom and I would visit.

Your Papa and I made some of our best memories around our kitchen table, playing cards or enjoying board games with friends. Those were good times.

There’s a story about passing cards under the table. It tells about a game of Spades in which I had placed a card between my toes. Surely not. Reminiscing the simple, fun times reminds me that having fun doesn’t have to break the bank.

Effort and Sacrifice

I must admit that marriage is only sometimes fun, and you likely will not find humor every day. Marriage is not always easy, but it is worth all the effort and sacrifice. 

Keep the Lord in His Rightful Place

Most importantly, keep the Lord in his rightful place. Enjoy God more than anyone or anything else, including your husband. My sweet Camryn, your husband is not your Jesus. He is not your savior or responsible for your happiness; you are. That one took me some time to learn. Perhaps it was because I married at 17.

Be intentional to love your husband wisely and well, daily until death do you part. Pray, laugh, have fun, and don’t exalt Joseph to a place deserved only by Jesus. May you and he enjoy a lifetime of treasuring Christ together in marriage. May our God be glorified.

Love always,

Grammie

P.S. Oh, and I nearly forgot. Give me a call should you need my recipe for Debbie Surprise!