I Hold Onto Hope

I write with a heavy heart today, taking time to accept my new reality. My battle with Essential Tremor has been long and complex, and the past few months have introduced new challenges. Along with the “intentional” tremors that have made simple tasks difficult, I now face resting and internal tremors, each presenting unique obstacles.

These tremors have become all-consuming. Despite trying various medications, I have only experienced side effects or adverse reactions. This constant motion has turned basic activities into daily struggles, making every moment a battle against my own body.

I used to enjoy peaceful mornings spent studying and writing, but now my hands refuse to remain on the keyboard. I am slowly adapting to dictation for typing and can manage my mouse well, but my blog writing is dwindling, and my manuscript remains on my desk, waiting for work and further decisions. The loss of my previous abilities, the inability to type freely, and the ongoing struggle to write serve as constant reminders of what I have lost. Mornings have become the most challenging part of my day. Yet, even during these hours, the Lord sustains me with His presence and the power of His Word.

Since I started drafting this post, aside from the tremors, I have experienced additional symptoms that have impacted my quality of life. I’ve missed events with my grandkids and sometimes had to skip worship services. The results from lab tests and scans so far have left my condition a mystery. I am grateful for every positive test finding, but we are still searching for answers.

I’m sharing this with you because, despite my challenges, I know that God is with me. The training I received as a biblical counselor has been a lifeline, guiding me through this season. I find immense comfort in knowing that there is a Creator who is in control and knows me intimately. My faith serves as a source of strength and guidance, reminding me daily that my unique physical body was purposefully designed by a sovereign God (Psalm 139). I am also grateful for the support and prayers of a few women. Their prayers and my theology reassure me that I am not alone in this struggle.

I hold onto hope and am slowly learning how to do many things differently. I believe that God has plans for me, even amid this struggle. Each day, I rise, seeking His mercy and offering Him my heart, time, and service. I place my trust in Him, confident that He will use even this struggle for a greater purpose, giving me hope for the future and a sense of purpose in my daily life.

What principles from biblical counseling have been and will be helpful to me, and how can you benefit from my experience? Finding hope and purpose amid challenges.

Acknowledge your feelings: Take time to recognize and accept your feelings.
Seek support: Reach out to family and friends who can provide encouragement and understanding.
Explore new strategies: Adapt to new ways and alternative methods for any personal challenges you face.
Embrace your faith: Engage with spiritual disciplines, such as prayer, Scripture reading, or reflecting on God’s faithfulness in the past.
Celebrate small victories: Whether completing a task or spending time with a loved one, give thanks for the positives.
Cultivate resilience: Reflect on the strength you’ve gained from past challenges. Remind yourself that every struggle contributes to your growth and resilience.
Focus on what you can control: Identify aspects of your life you can influence. Participate in every area of life possible. Practice leaving those you cannot at the foot of the cross.